How Insecurities Are Created (10 Ways)


A new analysis released by the UN Development Programmer shows that six in seven people worldwide are plagued by feelings of insecurity. Surprisingly, residents of countries with the best health, wealth, and education statistics are reporting greater insecurities than a decade ago.

People who feel insecure are usually filled with feelings of self-doubt. They always question themselves: Am I good enough? Can I do this? Such individuals mostly stay at home and feel bored, stupid, and ugly.

Do you also experience the same feelings? If yes, you may be an insecure person who struggles with different aspects of their life. But where did this insecurity come from? There’s no single factor responsible for producing insecurities. Different people have different reasons for their feelings of inadequacy.

That’s why in today’s video we’ll be exploring 10 possible reasons that make a person feel insecure. Read until number 1, because it’s one of the most common but unnoticed reasons for insecurities we’ve ever seen!

Number 10: You’re afraid of failure.

Before starting any project, do you feel that you won’t be able to complete it? Do you always underestimate your abilities and tell people that you’ll probably fail so their expectations remain low? If yes, you’ve got a fear of failure that’s affecting your performance.

No doubt, success is something that all of us hold dearly. We have goals, ambitions, and dreams of success that often get grander with time. Along with these, the fear of failure also grows and usually leads to insecurities. After that point, you think almost 100 times before starting a project. You feel that everyone is looking at you. They have extraordinary expectations that if not met can lead to humiliation and disregard.

This is mostly the case with people who grow up in a highly critical or unsupportive environment. They’re always afraid of failure and have low self-esteem which makes it difficult for them to pursue their goals.

Number 9: You were rejected by someone special.

You may have recently had a bad experience that makes you insecure about other relationships. You’ve been divorced or rejected by a special person, and that brings uncertainty to your life.

It’s completely natural to feel insecure after a breakup. According to some experts, the biggest negative contributor to happiness is the ending of a relationship. This influences your value, respect, and love for yourself. You doubt your personality, looks, and social status.

You might believe you’re not compatible enough for any relationship and that’s why you become afraid of dating or marrying someone in the future. Some people may not have experienced any breakup but still, they feel insecure because they’ve been rejected in an interview or turned down for a promotion.

This unsettling event costs their confidence and holds them back from putting their hand up for good opportunities. So rejection either in a relationship or at work can leave you with a feeling that you don’t deserve it.

Number 8: You have poor self-confidence.

Low self-esteem is one of the root causes of insecurity. According to research from Dr. Joe Rubino, CEO of the Center for Personal Reinvention, approximately 85% of Americans suffer from poor self-confidence.

Self-confidence is the beauty of a personality. It largely influences your decision-making power, your relationships, emotional health, potential, and overall well-being. On the other hand, low self-esteem makes you believe that you’re of no value or you’re unable to achieve your goals.

You may avoid social gatherings, have weak conversation skills, and have difficulty interacting with people. You may perceive people looking down on you and as a result, you become mentally ill.

Number 7: You’re jealous of your colleagues.

Do you resent your colleagues? Are you afraid of the success of your teammate who’s also your friend? If yes, you’re jealous of your coworkers and it’s making you insecure.

Jealousy is a negative emotion and it’s natural to feel it in a competition, especially when your competitor is receiving special treatment either at the workplace or in a relationship. You express this jealousy by criticizing them, finding faults in them, and blaming them.

You try to make them less confident about themselves, but deep down you’re the insecure one. You’re feeding your ego and making some useless attempts to appear confident.

According to the American Association of Retired Persons, jealousy in relationships is more common, and it’s perfectly rational to feel insecure sometimes. This is why you become possessive about your partner and you can’t imagine losing them. So whenever you feel someone is interfering with your relationship, you become angry and lose control.

But sometimes this jealousy not only leads to insecurity but ends up in despair, self-destructiveness, and even violence.

Number 6: Your standards are very high.

Some people set exceptionally high standards for everything they do. They want to be a top achiever, have a nice job, a luxury apartment, a big family, and most importantly, a perfect image.

If you’re also one of those, you’ll agree that you constantly worry about falling short of these expectations. You want to be perfect but, unfortunately, life doesn’t always turn out exactly the way we want.

The obsession to be a perfectionist can hinder your performance and you start postponing your projects just because you’re afraid of falling short of perfection. This makes you upset and feel unworthy. You start to question your abilities and as a result, develop mental illness.

Number 5: You find it difficult to trust people.

Do you easily believe the words of everyone around you, or are you the one who doubts even their closest people? If you have a difficult time trusting someone, you’re afraid of betrayal.

Trust issues are among the underlying causes of insecurities. People who are afraid of trusting someone may have experienced a betrayal, or their long-term partner might have cheated on them. After this incident of infidelity, it’s difficult for them to believe in someone.

Several reasons make a person vulnerable to deception, but the most important is childhood experiences. Dr. Shirley Glass, a relationship expert, emphasizes that individuals who didn’t develop basic trust during childhood are more vulnerable to deception by someone special. Such people often struggle to build trust and faith in their new relationships.

Number 4: You’re struggling financially.

One of the reasons why you feel insecure is you’re financially weak. You’re struggling to find a job or start a business.

Compared to your friends, your social status isn’t so good, and that builds pressure on you and you start doubting yourself. Well, it’s one of the major reasons for insecurities these days because 207 million around the world have been reported unemployed.

Financial insecurity isn’t only mentally draining but it also negatively impacts a person’s physical health. Experts suggest that financially insecure individuals are more likely to experience stress and anxiety.

This is because continuous financial pressure makes them insecure about their social status. They put in extra effort and try every method but the result is still zero. This kills their confidence and eventually, they think of themselves as a failure.

Number 3: You have irrational fears about the future.

Thinking about the future is understandable, but intense fear of new things isn’t good. Most of the time, people aren’t jealous of anyone and do well in their love and work life but still, they have insecurities because they can’t help thinking about the future. They’ve got persistent thoughts about what’ll happen tomorrow: Am I going to fail the interview or an exam? Am I financially strong enough to start a new business?

These are the types of anticipatory fear that can be quite debilitating in extreme cases. According to a 2006 study, anticipatory fear can be linked to the intolerance of uncertainty and anxiety which can lead to indecisiveness.

Not only has this, but the fear of the future also affects the physical health of an individual. They might experience emotional numbness, muscle tension, nausea, appetite loss, and sometimes sleep problems.

People with anticipatory anxiety spend most of their time imagining the worst-case scenarios. This only leaves them hopeless and increases their insecurities.

Number 2: You’ve had traumatic experiences.

Seven out of ten factors responsible for creating insecurity emerge from a past traumatic experience.

Painful childhood experiences can leak into adult life. Some experts suggest that insecurities start at home, especially with primary care providers.

The primary care providers like the father and mother should teach things like morals, ethics, and love at home so young people can learn how to love.

But if a child has some traumatic experience like abuse or an accident, it’ll break their spirit and bring uncertainties into their life. Not only children but also adults who may have experienced a divorce or an accident that impaired their lives carry this emotional baggage in the form of insecure behavior.

Number 1: You always tend to compare yourself with others.

This is one of the most common reasons why people feel insecure. Have you ever noticed approximately how many times you compare yourself with others? It’s not just the number of times but the feeling of comparison that leads to feelings of being small.

This is because you’ve set some high standards, and whenever you see someone meeting those standards, you unintentionally start comparing yourself with others. For example, you think that only rich people are successful, and when you see someone who’s rich you start thinking that they’re more successful than you.

No matter how much effort you’ve put in to attain a position, you still believe you’re not successful. This is because you’re your own harshest critic. All these things work against you. You only see their success, not the things they might’ve gone through to achieve this position.

Comparing yourself with others only hinders your performance and makes you doubtful about your hard work and diligence.

Read More: Avoid Wasted Time with These Warning Signs

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